What is the secret to finding contentment?  How do we reduce the stress in our life?  It’s a process, not an event.  Contentment is an art, a journey. 

Peace is [...]]]>

When is the last time you spent an evening at home, enjoying a simple meal and quiet activities?  How did it make you feel?  Do you crave peace? 

What is the secret to finding contentment?  How do we reduce the stress in our life?  It’s a process, not an event.  Contentment is an art, a journey. 

Peace is an internal feeling.  We all have the ability to call it forth, from our heart, no matter the outside circumstance.  If it were not so, if peace was always dependent on external events, we would be at a great loss.

Peace is a state of mind.  It is a practice, a habit we create and it builds great strength in the person who masters the art of contentment.

We have so many things that are good.  Even in loss, we can think about what we still hold dear.  When I lost my home to fire, I had memories of my possessions, I could re-build, I could begin again and do things differently.  I had my family, my children, my friends.  I could adopt new pets, and love again. 

It was painful.  We craved peace, and it was not easily found.  The fire set off a disasterous chain of events.  Every one of our cars broke down, and we had no money.  We wore other people’s clothing, sat on other people’s couches in a newly rented home that did not feel familiar.  Everything in it, had been someone else’s.  It was going to take time to create the “home” feeling.  We were frustrated, cried easily, argued. 

We were blessed in the middle of all of it by an opportunity to help someone else.  We had little, could we give?  We were soon tested.

Scraping together some change, we could give our kids a needed  break.  We found enough money to go to a nearby movie, so we loaded up and headed out, searching for a moment of distraction, a bit of fun.  First stop, was a taco meal.  We pulled into the fast food restaurant, and noticed a woman standing near our car.  By her side was a young girl, about 8 or 9 years old.

The young woman nodded to the little girl, and she approached us with her hand out.  “We need food.  Can you help us?”  I looked at Lynn and nodded, and then took our boys into the building.  Lynn came in and said, “She needs groceries, not a quick meal.” 

I said to him “We don’t have much money.”  I turned to the boys and said “What do you want to do?” 

They replied “We need to help them, Mom, they’re hungry.”

We counted out our money.  If we shared our taco meals, and went to the movie with no refreshments, we could give them $20.00.  It would feed them until Monday, when the young woman promised she’d go see about emergency food stamps. 

We’d be broke the rest of the week.  The boys still wanted to go to the show and after all we’d been through, we decided to do it.  Our house was filled with food, we’d make it.

The tacos were sweet and we ate them slowly.  Soberly, we drove to the movie, none remembered what we saw.  We were together; we’d given to another, we were content.

Walking back into the house, we gave each other the big “Alsobrook” hug, our traditional group embrace.  We held on for along time.  No real conversation was necessary; our hearts did the talking. 

“You passed the test.”  whispered the Spirit of Goodness.  “You had little and you gave more away.” 

I knew that woman was put there in that moment in time, by no accident.  Would another have helped her?  I don’t know. What did she really do with the money?  I don’t know, the choice was hers. 

 It was our moment, our time.  We gave and the blessing was contentment, not relief from our struggles; they were to go on for another few years. 

We only have moments to make a difference.  She gave us that blessing.

Our society is filled with seduction.  “Buy more, have bigger, this is not enough”  it whispers and yells at every turn. 

Find the contentment in the moments of life.  It is our choice. 

What will we choose? 

I am Marisue and I write.

What can we do?  We can quit taking it personally.  When we get angry, it’s our choice.  I know it doesn’t seem that way.  We’re not robots.  [...]]]>

“That’s where most criticism from others goes.  We hear the words, and even if we don’t believe it, the pain of what was said finds it’s way quickly to our heart.”

What can we do?  We can quit taking it personally.  When we get angry, it’s our choice.  I know it doesn’t seem that way.  We’re not robots.  Of course we react to “stimuli” and what people say, STIMULATES us. 

Even so, we can work on the way we react.  Eventually, we can fight off the pain and the responding anger or depression when we are being verbally attacked or criticized.

Most of the time, our pain is caused because we care about that person’s opinion of us.  We should rarely get upset at words of criticism from someone we don’t know.  However, even those words seem to have power. 

The media is full of strangers doing things to hurt and or kill over spoken words.  I always wonder, “Why couldn’t they just walk away?”  Simple solutions forgotten, in the heat of the moment, and then life is forever changed. 

Are we teaching the skill of protecting ourselves from undeserved criticism?  Do we have it ourselves?  Can we give examples of it to our kids?  How else will they be able to survive the hard knocks of life, if every negative word spoken by another hurts them?

We should be able to shield ourselves and our loved ones from what carelessness slips from the mouth of another. 

Would that it were easy.  The political war we see everyday is a “he said –  he said” battle.  But, no one can stop someone else from speaking what they will.  Yet, the way we respond might take away some of their power.

Keep your perspective.  If someone is “barking” in your direction, turn away with a mental smile.  Think of something that builds you up, such as a recent accomplishment.  Take away their power by putting your thoughts on the positive in your life.

If you have relationship with the one who is hurting you, let them know once you both are calm.  Otherwise, write it off. Blow it off.  Step out of it.  Put it behind you. 

Some battles are not worth fighting.  Frustrations are part of the day, and if they are a frequent part of your life, look in a different direction and see if you can walk that path.

for me,  time is too short to put up with frequent pain from someone who is near.  Quietly, firmly, ask them to “stop.” 

If they care, they will.  If they don’t, then you have other decisions to make, yes? 

May peace enter your place, is my wish for you and even myself, as we read and write about life’s journey.

Come back tomorrow, for more thoughts from the Writing Room,

Author’s Note:  If you are in an abused relationship, of course be very careful about using assertiveness, as it could increase your danger; please seek professional help for how to get to safety.

-I am Marisue, and I write.