When you can’t swim, FLOAT!  Don’t panic, tell yourself things are ok if you take action.  Get back to basics!  The ABC’s of living happily and healthily are not that far away.  These are “can do’s” that will make you feel better, today. We’re all worried about today, and tomorrow.  [...]]]> Money Going Down The Drain?

When you can’t swim, FLOAT!  Don’t panic, tell yourself things are ok if you take action.  Get back to basics!  The ABC’s of living happily and healthily are not that far away.  These are “can do’s” that will make you feel better, today. We’re all worried about today, and tomorrow.  How will we pay the bills?  How can we buy food, gas, and make payments that keep us going, when cash is at risk?

Tell yourself to be calm, you can make many changes in your life that will help you feel more in charge, save some money by cutting expenses with wiser living, and getting back to basics in entertainment and daily life.

Simple actions will help increase your confidence enormously.

Becoming worried and a bit discouraged, I relied on what always helps me to feel encouraged, I cleaned house.  I mean, really cleaned.  Dig deep!  Go through drawers, papers, photo boxes, storage, and think “eliminate!”

Here’s what I discovered:

• I found that I had items all over the house that could be sold at a garage sale or flea markets.  How many knick knacks do you really need?  Turn things to cash!
• I had more clothes than I needed.  I made four piles: Keep, Repair, Donate, Pitch.
• Cleaning out my pantry, I found that our food storage was well stocked on some canned and packaged items, but did not have enough of others, so I made a list of items that would put us at least 4 months ahead on food.  I moved older sugar, pasta, and crackers to the front.
• Shop sales! It might be worth the gas, if your stores are not that far apart!  Taking advantage of a grocer’s reduced prices on items you’ll eat is highly recommended. Caution: Think about whether it’s more important to have the extra food, or the cash in your pocket.  You don’t want to be food rich, and find yourself without gas to get to work.
• My kitchen cabinets had become cluttered, so what couldn’t be sold, given to the kids, or donated was thrown away.  “Be Brutal” is the motto!  Old plastic cups were tossed, odd plates will be sold, old silverware discarded.
• I stacked magazines for some extra reading time.
• I discovered many books that are in great condition and will be donated to the library.  At a sale, they hardly bring even 25 cents, and for me, are far to heavy to cart back and forth.  I’d rather donate them or give them to friends.  In my office, I made a box that has a sign, “free books make great Christmas gifts!” and decided to keep a few to give to my own friends for Christmas.
• Clean newspapers are now in a box for many uses, including eliminating the need for paper towels.
• We decided to reduce our TV bill to the basic programming.
• We took a look at our cell phone plans to make sure they weren’t over-stuffed with minutes.

I’m sure we will discover many other things we can either do without, or sell for a bit of “gas money.”  If you’re not one to buy ahead, think about changing that habit.  The shelves in the store can quickly become empty during a time of crisis, and we are headed for some of those days.  You have no need for fear, if you’re prepared!

Here are 14 Confidence Gaining Tips for helping you feel more secure in today’s insecure times:

1. Decide to make a plan, first alone or with your spouse, then include the family.  Think about what you want to do and what you can do, before you call in the entire family; that way you will sound confident.
2. Write down your net income.
3. Find out what you are spending on everything.  This may take some time, save every receipt in the meantime.
4. Decide you can trim back in many places and still have a life.  Be brutal, but be fair and sensible.  Scale down your cable bill, maybe taking out game and movie channels, cut back on phones, clothing expenses, and yes, even food.  I was shocked to discover that we were throwing away more than we were eating.  We were also buying food we did not eat or want.  There are many healthy choices for the family table without spending  more than you have to.  By eliminating eating out, creatively using leftovers such as making a soup at the end of the week, you can “find” new money!!
5. Take inventory all throughout the house.  Kitchen, food pantry, spice cabinet, bedrooms, closets, even the bathroom!  What can be sold at a garage sale? What can you incorporate into your daily needs that you may not have known you even had?   Take the time to do this right; don’t panic, but move steadily towards eliminating junk.  Write down all the extras you have of what you need.  (When I looked in my pantry for compiling a written inventory, I discovered I had about 6 months worth of pasta!  Add some sauce and less meat than you think, and you’ve got lots of meals!)
6. Use clean newspaper instead of paper towels.  It’s great to drain greasy food or clean glass, etc.  (Look up the many ways to use newspaper!)
7. Don’t spend.  Just quit shopping for gifts, extras.  Not spending sends a powerful message to your attitude.  Everyday, you will see that you saved money and made progress on your goals.  Make homemade treats to give away, or trade off “favors” to let people know you care.  See how long you can go without using cash or your credit cards or debit card.
8. Barter. Think:  “I can give you my extra sugar and flour, can you give me your extra cans or fresh green beans?”   or “I’ll babysit for you Wednesday, can you take me to the store Thursday?” (I’ve done both of these, and a neighborhood or family bartering system can actually be quite fun.)
9. Vow not to waste any food, or anything else, but start with food. Save bread crumbs in the sack for sprinkling on casseroles or adding to a meat loaf, save cookie crumbles for ice cream or pudding toppers, save cornbread, or bread slices for dressing, freeze tomatoes that are overriped for soups and cooking, think before you toss!
10. Be a saver.  I’ve used plastic bags for trash liner, or drawer liners.  Looking for ways to re-use and re-cycle is very interesting and rewarding.  Much information is available online!
11. Have a meeting with family and friends and brainstorm ways to change your daily living habits; many will have great stories from their past, you will be surprised what you can do, without spending!
12. Don’t eat out, it’s not up to you to support your local restaurant.  (Unless you own it…that’s a different subject.)
13. Don’t hire someone to do what you can do for yourself.
14. Toss your pocket change into a jar every day.  At the end of the month, put it on a bill, or treat yourself to an inexpensive night out.  Just “make it count!”

Bonus: Holiday gift giving does not need to be flashy or costly.  Let your family and friends know that this year is one of concentrating on what we already have.  Talk with them about making your gifts those of “time,” instead of “things.”  Together, you just might come up with some great ideas!

I realize that an economy depends on people spending money.  Don’t worry about that.  You will be doing your part by purchasing the items you actually need.  That’s what getting back to basics means.  It’s time to think about you and your budget, survival and happiness.  You pay attention to and write your financial plan!  You can’t save the world, but you can make a huge impact on YOUR WORLD.

The input of your family is vital, yet this process should not be entirely democratic.  Quit worrying about disappointing your kids, or providing for every want.  This is serious, times are difficult, money is important and scarce, and the kids will become stronger by living “wiser.”

Kids are resilient!  It’s ok for teens to work, younger kids to make their own fun, help out with chores, do the lawn.  Get going, parents!  You can do this!  Be in control, be calm and determined.

Here are some ABC’s of Happy Living:

• A – Act  with Assertiveness!  Don’t wiggle weakly.
• B – Be Brave! Don’t wilt!
• C - Clear out Clutter! Don’t procrastinate living lean!
• D – Delight in the Daisies of Life!  Don’t neglect cost free Pleasure!
• E – Explore Everything! Don’t assume a solution can’t be found!
• F - Feed Friendships!  Don’t be too alone!
• G - Grow Gracefully! Don’t be afraid to accept change!
• H – Harvest Happiness!  Don’t neglect planning for it!
• I - Invest in Ice Cream! Don’t forget to spend occasionally on little things!
• J - Jump for Joy!  Don’t neglect the importance of energy!
• K - Keep Kissing! Don’t limit love!
• L - Laugh Lots!  Don’t forget to see the funny!
• M - Make Miracles! Don’t think miracles are that far away.
• N - Nurture Nature! Don’t forget to see what grows all around you.
• O - Opt for Optimism!  Don’t be a gloom and doomer.
• P - Praise People! Don’t criticize heavily.
• Q - Quit Quibbling! Don’t seek a fight.
• R - Relax Regularly! Don’t neglect the need for calm and rest.
• S - Seek Simplicity! Don’t be a complicator.
• T - Take Time! Don’t be in a hurry, slow down.
• U - Use an Umbrella!  Don’t forget to protect yourself by thinking ahead.
• V - Value Veggies!  Don’t eat things that are not good for your health.
• W - Welcome Wisdom!  Don’t be afraid to learn.
• X - Xceed Xpectations!  Don’t settle for minimum effort.
• Y - Yell Yes!  Don’t be vague.
• Z - ZZzzzzzz’s!  Don’t neglect your need for sleep.

The ABC’s of Happy Living will keep you anchored in secure feelings.  Make a plan!  Change and improve your plan when needed.  Call upon your family to help, state the situation in a positive light, and ask them to help clean up the house, the yard, the finances.

May life be easier, as you make wise decisions.  Be well.

I am Marisue, and I write.

“Run For The Money”

by Marisue Bond-Alsobrook

What’s it About?

My name is Samantha, or was.  I had life just where I wanted it, in the palm of my hand.  I was going places.  My husband was my reason for living, and now is my reason for running.  I didn’t do anything, he did.  [...]]]> Welcome to

“Run For The Money”

by Marisue Bond-Alsobrook

What’s it About?

My name is Samantha, or was.  I had life just where I wanted it, in the palm of my hand.  I was going places.  My husband was my reason for living, and now is my reason for running.  I didn’t do anything, he did.  I found him in the poolhouse with my best friend.  What an old story that is. 

They weren’t playing, though it did look like they were having a lot of fun, and it didn’t seem to be all that new to them.  They were efficient, they were wild.  I was pissed.

I eased out, unseen and unheard.  Well, from all the noise they were making, that wasn’t so hard to do.  The next time they had their little rendevous, my tape recorder under the bed caught it all.

This week’s pool party, was lively.  Everyone seemed to enjoy the special sound effects as they played in the background, gradually increasing in volume until soon, there was no doubt as to whom the “oooo’s” and “ahhhh’s” and “More, More!” belonged to.

My soon to be ex, Rob, was not amused.  I laughed and laughed but it was just the sound of my heart breaking.  He slammed out of the house with my best friend running after him, pausing only long enough to slap my face.

At the time I didn’t feel a thing, but my neck’s been hurting now for 2 weeks.

Bank accounts cleaned out, a life insurance policy on me in his favor, he’s not through.  I can’t find him, but I can feel him.  I can smell death.  Mine or his?  I cannot tell.  The taste of betrayal slices through my tongue, and covers me with a thick stench.  It is fear.

Where was my special radar when I married him?  I don’t know.  I don’t have time to think about it.  I’m on the run.

————–

Bookmark it and come back soon for more, the story begins.  (A chapter a week.)

Welcome to “Run For The Money” by Marisue Bond-Alsobrook

In the Beginning…

“What are you glad you’ve got?  I could ask you what you’re mad about, but we’d probably be here all day.  We get to that emotion quickly, don’t we?  Have you noticed it takes almost no time to share our anger?”

How can we change the world?  It seems like a [...]]]> “Gratitude In Today’s Time”

In the Beginning…

“What are you glad you’ve got?  I could ask you what you’re mad about, but we’d probably be here all day.  We get to that emotion quickly, don’t we?  Have you noticed it takes almost no time to share our anger?”

How can we change the world?  It seems like a huge assignment.  It’s more simple than we think.  Changing the world begins with us.  Me.  You.  When you make some sound decisions about how you want to feel, think, act; the world changes.  Like a ripple in a pond, the effects reach much further than when it began at the center. 

When we answer the question “What are we grateful for?”  Most of us pause.  We might come up with a quick “My family” but let’s dig a little deeper.  Would this next question apply to any of us?  “If we’re so grateful for our family, why do we spend so much time griping at them or about them?”

I’m going to make a statement that might sound like I’m over-simplifying life.  But, since I’ve lived @# years, I’m going to risk it.  I believe, that if we, meaning the world, were truly grateful for what we have, and for our life and for the life of those we love, the world would change by that one feeling and action.  Think about it for a while.  Make a list that would go on for days.  Write down the things you’re grateful for, no matter how small, and see what happens.

It’s pretty difficult to be grumpy, mad, selfish, hateful, resentful, sad, depressed, upset, worried, negative, and critical when you’re thinking of all the positive parts of life.

Here’s what I think you’ll find.  As create your list,  your burdens will lift from your shoulders, you’ll walk with energy,  and your whole approach to life will change.  Gratitude can change the world.  What would happen, if  people all in your family, neighborhood, church, clubs, service organizations, city, state, government, country,  just increased their gratitude?  Nothing else, just that.  I wonder what would happen to the way we talk and deal with others.  I would love to live long enough to see that.

First, it begins with you, me, us.  Then, and here’s the best part….it’s contagious.  Yep, gratitude is one of the most contagious diseases around.  Have you used it today?  Do it, you’ll see.  People will smile. 

For example, we could start here:

Driving: 

• let the car that needs to, merge into your lane. 
• Slow down and let cars turn left or right without a honk of annoyance from you. 
• go the speed limit or 5 miles under, save gas
• let pedestrians cross in front of you
• signal when changing lanes
• don’t run stop or yellow lights
• be grateful for your car and gas

Shopping:

• Smile
• look cashiers in the eye
• be pleasant to others in aisles
• slow down enough to enjoy the things you aren’t buying
• be polite to those you encounter
• be grateful for the money to purchase
• be grateful for the huge amount of items from which to choose
• be grateful for the time you spent

Cleaning house:

• enjoy the task at hand
• enjoy the result of clean
• enjoy your home
• enjoy your possessions
• give things away
• be grateful you have so much
• be grateful for your comfortable temperature controlled atmosphere

Watchin’ TV:

• enjoy the tons of information at our fingertips
• enjoy learning channels
• concentrate on good news
• take action on something that bothers you by sending a letter or email, just one
• be grateful for electricity

Family:

• speak with kindness
• ignore the small stuff
• be respectful
• be forgiving
• be grateful for those who love you
• work to deserve it
• practice positive speaking

There’s so much more, but you’re getting the idea, right?  I’m sure you show some gratitude, but where could you show more?

Do you find yourself worrying about the economy?  Even on our worst day, we are not as much at a loss as those in China or other countries who struggle just for food and shelter.    Of course, there are many who do the same in our own country and neighborhoods.  What can you do to prepare and be wise with your funds? Can you help another?  You don’t have to do it all, but what would a grateful person do? 

Today, just find one thing that brings gratitude to your heart.   When that’s a habit, find another, and step by step, you become a person of gratitude.  The world begins to change. 

————

I’ll end with a brief story.  I had a 14 year old foster daughter for a couple of years named Kristi.  In a single day, she flew into anger more often than most people do in months.   Kristi would scream and rant and curse and throw things.  I found myself walking on eggshells and flinching at the sound of her voice.  One day, as she was putting on her show, I went into her bedroom.  She followed, screaming every step of the way. 

Quietly, making murmuring sounds as she spouted off, I laid out some of her nicest clothes on the bed.  I picked up her CD player, her jewelry box, her favorite trinkets.  She stopped cold saying “What are you doing?? You can’t touch my stuff!” 

I began to count them and write them down on a notepad.  Knowing she BETTER NOT touch me in anger, she plopped down on the bed and folder her arms in disapproval.  When she saw I was grouping things together, she lost some of her steam.  I didn’t comment for awhile.  The pile on the bed grew.  Finally she was calm and said “What are you doing?”

“Kristi, you have so many wonderful things, I’m wondering if you might like to give something away.” 

“What??  NO, No!” she yelled. 

I replied calmly, “Well, they don’t seem to be bringing you much happiness.  Everyday you’re mad about your life.  I thought maybe you’d like to get rid of the clutter and just make do with less.” 

She was silent.  I was serious.  She knew about loss.  In fact, she, like most foster kids, was a loss expert.  She wanted no more of it. 

“I’m happy. I’m happy!!” she said. 

I grinned.  “Good.  Because these can make a quick exit the next time you’re ranting about nothing.  Get over it, kid.  We’ve all got stories.  Life is getting better for you, now act like you enjoy it.” 

It wasn’t a cure-all for Kristi, but it did soften her yell.  She had a long journey of learning about gratitude ahead of her.  

———–

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Stay tuned for my posts on “Gratitude In Today’s Time – 101 Ways To Change the World”

The first introduction was as harsh as I ever want to know. A few months before mom lost her eyesight, someone tried to [...]]]> Fear Steps Back

Have you ever been afraid? I’ve met some people that say they’ve actually never felt deep fear. More than once, we’ve been introduced. It has come with different depths and none pleasant.

The first introduction was as harsh as I ever want to know. A few months before mom lost her eyesight, someone tried to break into our house. The scariest part for me, at age 12, was that “he” knew WE knew, he was trying to get in. He kept coming and did not appear to feel any of the fear that ate our skin.

Can you just imagine what he would have done, had he succeeded? I could even then, and now, with the years of life, I shiver to think. 1963 was an emotional, even violent time, politically. Mom wrote many letters to the editor, representatives, governors, and congress, gradually beginning to really tick some people off. They were powerful people I think, because for about 3 weeks or so…we were protected by the FBI.

I know that sounds incredible. For me, I found riding to school in a shiny “unnoticeable” big black car thrilling. I figured we had some strange uncles in the family, and didn’t give it much thought. Mom and Dad said to say relatives were visiting, and so that was the cover story. For a busy 12 year old, life continued. We lived in the land of odd, so this was just another day that gave us only a moment’s pause.

I never knew the real reason for the FBI to be hanging around, and we were so busy during the next few years trying to cope with Mom’s blindness, which followed this incident, that I didn’t question my parents about the “why.”

Again, that sounds wild, but if someone in your family loses their sight, I think you will then understand that everything else takes a back seat. We had new fears to fight.

The night that creeped me out, and caused me to be somewhat of a “scaredy cat” even now, is forever burned into my memory. After this night, the strange uncles arrived, and for awhile, we had lots of company. When both your parents have top secret clearances and work in the space program, you discover that Uncle Sam doesn’t like it’s people to be threatened.

Mom seemed normal to me. She had a lot of friends, but evidently could add at least one or one group of enemies to the list.

The day began as any other. When you think about it, a day dawns, and we never know it’s conclusion in advance. We take our safety and routine so much for granted, as the hands of the clock move. Life ticks by, and suddenly disaster claims who it will.

Late into the evening, Mom was typing in the dining room; I was reading, and Dad was gone on one of his rare camping trips. After this night, he never went on them again. As midnight approached, it was comforting to hear the click of the keyboard, and I soon fell asleep with my book on my chest.

“Marisue.”

Mom’s whisper jerked me awake. It was more of a shock than if she had shouted.

“MM? What?” I whispered back, sitting up with a start. Isn’t it strange how whispering is so instantly contagious? Someone can shout at me, and I don’t shout back necessarily, but whisper and I’m right there with imitation.

“Come with me, someone is trying to get into the house.” Mom always cut to the chase. No fake stuff. No build up.

“Ok.” She had my attention. This was right out of Nancy Drew. “What are we going to do?” Fear stabbed my stomach. I had never felt that kind of pain. Ok, exit Nancy Drew and enter Jack the Ripper.

We tiptoed into the dining room. Oh. Smart. Someone was jerking on the patio door which was IN THE DINING ROOM. Through the curtains, we could see a filmy shadow lit up by the outside street light. The only phone we had was on the counter, right by the patio door.

The shadow looked like a man. We had the impression of a big man, but couldn’t be sure. We both froze. I willed my legs to move, my voice to scream, my hand to find a weapon. No parts of me were listening. My mother must have been feeling something similar because the only part of her that turned was her head towards me when she heard me whisper “shit.” Well, at least I whispered.

Suddenly, she found her feet and leapt to the phone, reaching it through the kitchen opening to the counter. I have no idea how she got to the kitchen, since it was several feet away and I didn’t see her leave the room. Motions were jerky, as if we were seeing only every 3 or 4 seconds. My breath was coming in short gasps. I saw black dots, and wondered if I was going to fall down.

Just as she picked up the phone to dial the police – then you could do it by hitting O for operator – the “man” outside said clear as a bell “Don’t touch that phone.” I screamed. My voice had found it’s home. To hear that eerie, deep, raspy voice was the ugliest and scariest sound I ever heard. A mature, mean deep voice. It is carved into my mental auditory storage bin, though I’ve tried to dump it out for years.

Mom whispered into the phone and motioned me to come to her in the kitchen. That put the counter between us and the patio door. Her hands were on a long butcher knife as she pushed me behind her and gave the police our address. I did not feel better now that we were armed.

The side door to the house, our north door, jiggled. A few seconds later, the front door, suddenly seeming to be such a thin barrier, shook and the doorknob turned a bit. The door was supposed to be behind a locked screen but the knob jiggled, turning back and forth against the lock. I looked at Mom, she looked at me, and we both said “shhhh” to each other at the same time. I started to giggle and Mom put her hand over my mouth.

“Stop it. We will panic later.”

I stopped. Ok by me, I had plenty of panic to contribute. Fear stomped through my mouth, taking a slice at my dry tongue. Later, I discovered it had cracked. I can now say that I stuck my tongue out at a policeman when I was 12. When I complained it hurt, the officer wanted to see if I had bitten it. Once he saw the cracked tongue, he told me it was from the adrenalin in my system. It had happened to him before, too, he assured me, which made me feel very important to have an ailment that cops suffered from as well.

“Fear lands on everyone and especially the brave.” he informed. No wonder I married a cop 12 years later.

With a sharp cracking sound, the door bounced but remained shut. In the distance, police sirens pierced the night. We finally were able to open the door to the men in blue.

Since that night, I’ve always loved a man in uniform.

We don’t know who it was. He was never caught, and sometimes I wondered if it had been a dream. It had that quality of “out of body-ness.” The 3 weeks of FBI were certainly not a dream. I remember nice smiles, quiet adult talks I was forbidden to hear…though not from lack of trying. I even put the glass to the door. It yielded nothing but the roar of blood rushing through my own body. Movies are so fake.

From little snippets of this and that, I concluded that mom had made some political group really angry, with her preaching of rights for any color, anywhere, and they had threatened to kidnap her, and then “tar and feather” her. Gruesome thought. So, since she had knowledge of space secrets, (Area 51 maybe?) the FBI didn’t want her gone. Well, I’m glad because neither did we…and I especially didn’t want to go. I had a feeling “they” didn’t like kids.

Mom didn’t write letters for awhile, and I’ve always been cautious about making groups of people mad. I also don’t put much faith in re-assuring comments like “Oh, don’t be afraid, nothing will happen.” when people are trying to minimize something scarey.

I know things CAN happen. And, then I married a cop, and things DID happen.

So, last week, when the vandalism on our storage property occurred 50 – 100 yards away from my front door, in the form of 4 unit doors being kicked in, I had to think our front door could be next.

My husband, being the wise man he is, knew that a casual, “Oh, we’ll be ok.” wasn’t going to cut the mustard with me. Our company approved a storm door and the door was purchased and installed on my birthday.

I feel more comfortable about reaching my next.

Maybe it’s just kids, but just kids hurt people everyday. First, “they” just cut through the fence 2 or 3 times a week. Now, they kicked in doors. I’m not really good with logic, but it’s simple thought process that our apartment or the office door could be next.

So, fear takes the back seat. I have another layer of protection, against a sometimes not so nice world.

I am Marisue, and I write.

—–

I first published this article on HubPages.com.