By Marisue | September 28, 2008

Money Going Down The Drain?

When you can’t swim, FLOAT!  Don’t panic, tell yourself things are ok if you take action.  Get back to basics!  The ABC’s of living happily and healthily are not that far away.  These are “can do’s” that will make you feel better, today. We’re all worried about today, and tomorrow.  How will we pay the bills?  How can we buy food, gas, and make payments that keep us going, when cash is at risk?

Tell yourself to be calm, you can make many changes in your life that will help you feel more in charge, save some money by cutting expenses with wiser living, and getting back to basics in entertainment and daily life.

Simple actions will help increase your confidence enormously.

Becoming worried and a bit discouraged, I relied on what always helps me to feel encouraged, I cleaned house.  I mean, really cleaned.  Dig deep!  Go through drawers, papers, photo boxes, storage, and think “eliminate!”

Here’s what I discovered:

• I found that I had items all over the house that could be sold at a garage sale or flea markets.  How many knick knacks do you really need?  Turn things to cash!
• I had more clothes than I needed.  I made four piles: Keep, Repair, Donate, Pitch.
• Cleaning out my pantry, I found that our food storage was well stocked on some canned and packaged items, but did not have enough of others, so I made a list of items that would put us at least 4 months ahead on food.  I moved older sugar, pasta, and crackers to the front.
• Shop sales! It might be worth the gas, if your stores are not that far apart!  Taking advantage of a grocer’s reduced prices on items you’ll eat is highly recommended. Caution: Think about whether it’s more important to have the extra food, or the cash in your pocket.  You don’t want to be food rich, and find yourself without gas to get to work.
• My kitchen cabinets had become cluttered, so what couldn’t be sold, given to the kids, or donated was thrown away.  “Be Brutal” is the motto!  Old plastic cups were tossed, odd plates will be sold, old silverware discarded.
• I stacked magazines for some extra reading time.
• I discovered many books that are in great condition and will be donated to the library.  At a sale, they hardly bring even 25 cents, and for me, are far to heavy to cart back and forth.  I’d rather donate them or give them to friends.  In my office, I made a box that has a sign, “free books make great Christmas gifts!” and decided to keep a few to give to my own friends for Christmas.
• Clean newspapers are now in a box for many uses, including eliminating the need for paper towels.
• We decided to reduce our TV bill to the basic programming.
• We took a look at our cell phone plans to make sure they weren’t over-stuffed with minutes.

I’m sure we will discover many other things we can either do without, or sell for a bit of “gas money.”  If you’re not one to buy ahead, think about changing that habit.  The shelves in the store can quickly become empty during a time of crisis, and we are headed for some of those days.  You have no need for fear, if you’re prepared!

Here are 14 Confidence Gaining Tips for helping you feel more secure in today’s insecure times:

1. Decide to make a plan, first alone or with your spouse, then include the family.  Think about what you want to do and what you can do, before you call in the entire family; that way you will sound confident.
2. Write down your net income.
3. Find out what you are spending on everything.  This may take some time, save every receipt in the meantime.
4. Decide you can trim back in many places and still have a life.  Be brutal, but be fair and sensible.  Scale down your cable bill, maybe taking out game and movie channels, cut back on phones, clothing expenses, and yes, even food.  I was shocked to discover that we were throwing away more than we were eating.  We were also buying food we did not eat or want.  There are many healthy choices for the family table without spending  more than you have to.  By eliminating eating out, creatively using leftovers such as making a soup at the end of the week, you can “find” new money!!
5. Take inventory all throughout the house.  Kitchen, food pantry, spice cabinet, bedrooms, closets, even the bathroom!  What can be sold at a garage sale? What can you incorporate into your daily needs that you may not have known you even had?   Take the time to do this right; don’t panic, but move steadily towards eliminating junk.  Write down all the extras you have of what you need.  (When I looked in my pantry for compiling a written inventory, I discovered I had about 6 months worth of pasta!  Add some sauce and less meat than you think, and you’ve got lots of meals!)
6. Use clean newspaper instead of paper towels.  It’s great to drain greasy food or clean glass, etc.  (Look up the many ways to use newspaper!)
7. Don’t spend.  Just quit shopping for gifts, extras.  Not spending sends a powerful message to your attitude.  Everyday, you will see that you saved money and made progress on your goals.  Make homemade treats to give away, or trade off “favors” to let people know you care.  See how long you can go without using cash or your credit cards or debit card.
8. Barter. Think:  “I can give you my extra sugar and flour, can you give me your extra cans or fresh green beans?”   or “I’ll babysit for you Wednesday, can you take me to the store Thursday?” (I’ve done both of these, and a neighborhood or family bartering system can actually be quite fun.)
9. Vow not to waste any food, or anything else, but start with food. Save bread crumbs in the sack for sprinkling on casseroles or adding to a meat loaf, save cookie crumbles for ice cream or pudding toppers, save cornbread, or bread slices for dressing, freeze tomatoes that are overriped for soups and cooking, think before you toss!
10. Be a saver.  I’ve used plastic bags for trash liner, or drawer liners.  Looking for ways to re-use and re-cycle is very interesting and rewarding.  Much information is available online!
11. Have a meeting with family and friends and brainstorm ways to change your daily living habits; many will have great stories from their past, you will be surprised what you can do, without spending!
12. Don’t eat out, it’s not up to you to support your local restaurant.  (Unless you own it…that’s a different subject.)
13. Don’t hire someone to do what you can do for yourself.
14. Toss your pocket change into a jar every day.  At the end of the month, put it on a bill, or treat yourself to an inexpensive night out.  Just “make it count!”

Bonus: Holiday gift giving does not need to be flashy or costly.  Let your family and friends know that this year is one of concentrating on what we already have.  Talk with them about making your gifts those of “time,” instead of “things.”  Together, you just might come up with some great ideas!

I realize that an economy depends on people spending money.  Don’t worry about that.  You will be doing your part by purchasing the items you actually need.  That’s what getting back to basics means.  It’s time to think about you and your budget, survival and happiness.  You pay attention to and write your financial plan!  You can’t save the world, but you can make a huge impact on YOUR WORLD.

The input of your family is vital, yet this process should not be entirely democratic.  Quit worrying about disappointing your kids, or providing for every want.  This is serious, times are difficult, money is important and scarce, and the kids will become stronger by living “wiser.”

Kids are resilient!  It’s ok for teens to work, younger kids to make their own fun, help out with chores, do the lawn.  Get going, parents!  You can do this!  Be in control, be calm and determined.

Here are some ABC’s of Happy Living:

• A - Act  with Assertiveness!  Don’t wiggle weakly.
• B - Be Brave! Don’t wilt!
• C - Clear out Clutter! Don’t procrastinate living lean!
• D - Delight in the Daisies of Life!  Don’t neglect cost free Pleasure!
• E - Explore Everything! Don’t assume a solution can’t be found!
• F - Feed Friendships!  Don’t be too alone!
• G - Grow Gracefully! Don’t be afraid to accept change!
• H - Harvest Happiness!  Don’t neglect planning for it!
• I - Invest in Ice Cream! Don’t forget to spend occasionally on little things!
• J - Jump for Joy!  Don’t neglect the importance of energy!
• K - Keep Kissing! Don’t limit love!
• L - Laugh Lots!  Don’t forget to see the funny!
• M - Make Miracles! Don’t think miracles are that far away.
• N - Nurture Nature! Don’t forget to see what grows all around you.
• O - Opt for Optimism!  Don’t be a gloom and doomer.
• P - Praise People! Don’t criticize heavily.
• Q - Quit Quibbling! Don’t seek a fight.
• R - Relax Regularly! Don’t neglect the need for calm and rest.
• S - Seek Simplicity! Don’t be a complicator.
• T - Take Time! Don’t be in a hurry, slow down.
• U - Use an Umbrella!  Don’t forget to protect yourself by thinking ahead.
• V - Value Veggies!  Don’t eat things that are not good for your health.
• W - Welcome Wisdom!  Don’t be afraid to learn.
• X - Xceed Xpectations!  Don’t settle for minimum effort.
• Y - Yell Yes!  Don’t be vague.
• Z - ZZzzzzzz’s!  Don’t neglect your need for sleep.

The ABC’s of Happy Living will keep you anchored in secure feelings.  Make a plan!  Change and improve your plan when needed.  Call upon your family to help, state the situation in a positive light, and ask them to help clean up the house, the yard, the finances.

May life be easier, as you make wise decisions.  Be well.

I am Marisue, and I write.

By Marisue | September 17, 2008

Welcome to

“Run For The Money”

by Marisue Bond-Alsobrook

What’s it About?

My name is Samantha, or was.  I had life just where I wanted it, in the palm of my hand.  I was going places.  My husband was my reason for living, and now is my reason for running.  I didn’t do anything, he did.  I found him in the poolhouse with my best friend.  What an old story that is. 

They weren’t playing, though it did look like they were having a lot of fun, and it didn’t seem to be all that new to them.  They were efficient, they were wild.  I was pissed.

I eased out, unseen and unheard.  Well, from all the noise they were making, that wasn’t so hard to do.  The next time they had their little rendevous, my tape recorder under the bed caught it all.

This week’s pool party, was lively.  Everyone seemed to enjoy the special sound effects as they played in the background, gradually increasing in volume until soon, there was no doubt as to whom the “oooo’s” and “ahhhh’s” and “More, More!” belonged to.

My soon to be ex, Rob, was not amused.  I laughed and laughed but it was just the sound of my heart breaking.  He slammed out of the house with my best friend running after him, pausing only long enough to slap my face.

At the time I didn’t feel a thing, but my neck’s been hurting now for 2 weeks.

Bank accounts cleaned out, a life insurance policy on me in his favor, he’s not through.  I can’t find him, but I can feel him.  I can smell death.  Mine or his?  I cannot tell.  The taste of betrayal slices through my tongue, and covers me with a thick stench.  It is fear.

Where was my special radar when I married him?  I don’t know.  I don’t have time to think about it.  I’m on the run.

————–

Bookmark it and come back soon for more, the story begins.  (A chapter a week.)

Welcome to “Run For The Money” by Marisue Bond-Alsobrook

By Marisue | August 18, 2008

“Do you hear the noise?  Can you hear yourself think?  Are you speaking loudly?”

Do you rush home to hear the six o’clock news only to find yourself bombarded with war, crime, mayhem, corruption, greed, and trouble?  What would happen if you listened to soft music instead?  Would you be able to hear your thoughts, your voice, your children? 

Guess what.  The world will keep on spinning if you go on a news diet.  Must you hear every piece of horror that is happening in China? Russia?  Georgia?  Mexico?  New York?  Do you have to hear it before supper, before sleeping, before reading to the kids? 

Of course it’s important to know what’s going on in the world.  It’s even more important to know what’s going on in yours.  Who are the kids talking to, if not you?  Who is cleaning house, doing laundry, organizing activities, playing with the kids, helping them reach solutions, if not you?

You are important, screen the noise of the world, so you can respond to those around you.  Lower the volume of what comes in to your home, through media sources.  Talk less on the phone, watch less TV, let low volume, soft music and even silence soothe you.  Build moments of silence into your home life.  Kids respond with remarkable differences.

As a foster mom, we had kids of all ages in the home at the same time.  Noise was everywhere, and it was upsetting us all.  As parents, we had a meeting between us, designing the life we wanted at home.  It was unrealistic at first, so we had to make ammends.  Finally we settled on basic rules for a “comfort zone.” 

Our Comfort Zone involved eliminating noisy inside toys and games.  We put them in sealed containers on the outside patio.  Next, we decided on boom boxes NOT booming.  Music had to be at a personal listening level, with the exception of music in the family room, which was our decision.  We kept that music conducive to study, thought, conversation.  Another decision involved kid conversation.  Yelling was moved outdoors, conversations had to not interfere with someone else’s activity anywhere else in the house.  It was subjective, but they learned.  No studying in front of TV, no earphones during family time.

We gathered the kids, gave examples of what we expected and implemented it immediately.  We had to re-arrange some furniture, clean up some play areas, even compromise a bit.  Overall, the noise level dropped, with frequent reminders and family meetings to keep it smooth.  One girl in particular, is remembered for her sassy attitude and loud voice.  To help her, we whispered and talked very softly to her.  She imitated us almost by reflex. 

When I was in college, I was also a mom, a wife, an apartment manager, and a foster parent trainer for the state child welfare department.  My mind was like a spinning wheel, whirling tasks, duties, and places to be.  Every morning, I drove 22 miles one way to class.  With kids, a couple of jobs, and 4 hours of class everyday pushing me press for time, I was stressed.  However, I loved those drives.  At 5 in the morning, I would either listen to music in the car, or enjoy the silence. The quiet allowed me to mentally prepare for tests, write speech drafts, and create mental to-do lists for the day. 

Decide what’s too loud in your home.  You and your family need a place of refuge from a noisy world.  When you see kids and people coming into your house and almost sighing in relief, you’ll know you’ve hit the target.

Silence is golden, bring some of it’s sunshine into your life.  Shhhh, can you hear it?

By Marisue | August 15, 2008

“Chaos affects our moods, our appetite, and even our sleep.  Invite organization into your life and feel the power of it.  Wouldn’t you like to feel at peace with your tasks?  There is power in knowing what comes next when you’ve just completed a task off your to do list.”

My husband had a demanding career, we managed an apartment complex, I did foster parent training for the state, and was also enrolled in 12 hours of college classes each semester for four years.  That was in addition to being a foster parent of 4 - 5 children besides my own 3 sons.  You can imagine that the day could become a nightmare in seconds with forgotten court dates, doctor appointments, family visits.

We got smart.  Our friends and family could not believe all that we did.  They often asked how we could accomplish so much.  When we showed them our lists, they were shocked that the simple act of “scheduling and writing tasks down” enabled us to do more.

We were not idle, and sometimes we felt the day was too busy.  When that happened, we chopped the list down to size.  When other family members see the list, it’s even easier to solicit their help and delegate a few of the “to-do’s.”

We were able to make good use of time; the same 24 hours that didn’t see like enough before, were now workable with careful scheduling, planned transportation, and a willingness to be flexible.  However, our attitudes could “go south” quickly if we did not plan ahead.  We learned to live by the calendar, carrying a small copy of the days activities with us.  We shoveled kids from school to counselor, from doctor to family visits, from school activity to shopping requirements.  It was hell or it was heaven, depending on organization.

“Does the day get away from you? Every night before retiring, make lists and prioritize the next day.”

Just by writing down the completed “to-do’s” for today, and what’s on your agenda for tomorrow,  will help your mind “empty” out the repeating worries. You could be surprised to find that you’re mood will improve, and so may your sleep.

Free your thoughts and movements throughout the day by becoming organized and enjoy the power it creates.  When you “schedule” your time, be sure and include something that anchors you; moments of pleasure are necessary to bring rest to your soul.

“Resist the temptation to overfill your day, but live in and with organization.”

By Marisue | August 14, 2008

“Our world is full of plenty of criticism and negative comments.  You don’t need more of either.  We respond to negativity easily, so surround yourself with supportive people who offer encouragement and understanding.”

What is the music of our minds playing everyday?  Do we berrate ourselves over every minor mistake we make?  Are we giving ourselves negative messages all throught the priceless minutes of our lives? 

Don’t do that.  Think about the good you do, it will far outweigh personal or professional errors.  You are human, you will fail at times to meet even your expectations.  Sometimes you will disappoint others.  Do they not disappoint you as well?  No one can do the right thing all the time. 

Who believes in you?  Who supports you?  Who is positive in their speech, their deeds?  Who lifts you up?  Who do you admire?  Think about your inner circle.  Make sure it’s full of people who improve your life and help you to reach higher, yet appreciating who you are at this moment. 

Have you thought of a friend or acquaintance that drains you?  Is there one who is complaining constantly?  I’m not talking about someone who truly has a problem, but rather the one who always has a problem, and never seems to be able to let anything go. 

Those people melt away your cheerand seem to suck the happiness right out of you.  Let them go.  They are taking too much from you, it is not your place to try to change them.  When you surround yourself with those who lift you up and are strong, you will become like them. 

It is important to develop a society of friends who are mutually encouraging.

When foster kids entered our home to be in our care for a period of time, one of the first things we did was begin to work on their self image.  Because of their harsh experiences and sadness, they demonstrated negativity easily.  Irritation filled their soul, moving them quickly to arguments and fighting.  We began by complimenting them, praising them for the smallest of things. 

• I like the way you shut the door so quietly.
• I like how you asked to turn on the TV.
• That was helpful of you to scrape your plate into the trash.
• I noticed you helped Sue with reading that word.
• You hung your shirt up without being asked, that helps keep our home neat.
• I’m glad you brought your back pack home from school and put it away.

These children had heard so much criticism, they were not used to thinking they did anything right, or that what they did good was appreciated.  Sometimes, they did not even recognize good behavior.  When we praised them, they did more things right.  It was wonderful to hear them mimick the compliments by saying similar things to their friends or others in the home.

You can soar to new heights and reach your dreams, with the energy and help of those who believe in you.  And, by the way,  who do you encourage and support? 

Remember -

“Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.” - George M Adams

By Marisue | August 13, 2008

“Speak, move, act in peace …” -Francois Fenelon

“A calm spirit reflects inner peace.  Have you been around someone who seemed to make you feel better by just being with them?  Their serenity was contagious instantly.” 

I had an aunt that made me feel calm and relaxed when I was with her.  I remember that feeling of home as I entered hers. 

I’ve also been around the opposite.  We’ve had foster kids who walked into the room carrying such anger and pain that it was hard to even be in their presence.  The atmosphere of the home can help alleviate that kind of dispostion.  Think about your home, what is it saying?  Are their soft lights, good music, literature, novels, games, plants, colors that give energy and yet allow for living with relaxation?

Is the noise level appealing?  Are our children listening to violent music, watching violent movies, playing violent games?  Do we wonder then, where their anger orginates?

Are we letting our hectic, pressured daily routine rule our moods? Incorporating exercise into our day, even in a mild form such as routinely going for a walk, moving to music, listening to the ripple of water can calm our souls and slow the fast beat of a stressed life.  Give yourself peace and a chance to find serenity.  Doing so regularly is not a selfish act.  When you take time for you, and are committed to taking care of yourself, it shows that you value your existence.  It’s then that you can enrich others. 

How can we be helping our family, friends and associates find joy if we are constantly pressuring them and ourselves to do “more, more.”  What is your conversation with others about?  Teach, speak, act in peace by showing it.  Others will feel it and peace will come back full circle. 

Many years ago, there was an abusive relationship in my past.  That kind of person sucks the life right out of us.  Even our jobs can be harming us more than we might realize.  What is robbing you of serenity?  How can you add more tranquility to your life? 

Here are some suggestions that may help bring peace into your day.

• Install or add a small water fountain in your home.  The sound of water trickling is soothing.  Adding a small aquarium can provide a serene background for your daily living.
• Play soft music in the evening or during the same time everyday.  This is especially soothing for a busy family.
• Add pinks, violets, and blues for peace in each room or your special spot.
• Include a nature trip outdoors several times a week or have an evening drink or morning cup of tea outside.  The sounds and fresh air relieve stress.
• Dry clothes outside once in a while, the smell of freshness is intoxicating.
• Slow down your steps, your actions, your speaking.
• Speak softly.
• Listen.   

I think listening is one of the qualities that seems to be lacking in many of us.  Do you find yourself saying “what?” when others are talking to you?  My thoughts often wander and I ask those speaking to repeat their comments.  I have found that books on tape are not only soothing, but re-activate our listening skills.  Of course, I frequently went to sleep through several tapes.  I had to work hard to make myself follow the storyline.  However, going to sleep by a tape is also a good thing.

Make time for peace.  It will enrich your life and melt your stress.

By Marisue | August 12, 2008

When is the last time you spent an evening at home, enjoying a simple meal and quiet activities?  How did it make you feel?  Do you crave peace? 

What is the secret to finding contentment?  How do we reduce the stress in our life?  It’s a process, not an event.  Contentment is an art, a journey. 

Peace is an internal feeling.  We all have the ability to call it forth, from our heart, no matter the outside circumstance.  If it were not so, if peace was always dependent on external events, we would be at a great loss.

Peace is a state of mind.  It is a practice, a habit we create and it builds great strength in the person who masters the art of contentment.

We have so many things that are good.  Even in loss, we can think about what we still hold dear.  When I lost my home to fire, I had memories of my possessions, I could re-build, I could begin again and do things differently.  I had my family, my children, my friends.  I could adopt new pets, and love again. 

It was painful.  We craved peace, and it was not easily found.  The fire set off a disasterous chain of events.  Every one of our cars broke down, and we had no money.  We wore other people’s clothing, sat on other people’s couches in a newly rented home that did not feel familiar.  Everything in it, had been someone else’s.  It was going to take time to create the “home” feeling.  We were frustrated, cried easily, argued. 

We were blessed in the middle of all of it by an opportunity to help someone else.  We had little, could we give?  We were soon tested.

Scraping together some change, we could give our kids a needed  break.  We found enough money to go to a nearby movie, so we loaded up and headed out, searching for a moment of distraction, a bit of fun.  First stop, was a taco meal.  We pulled into the fast food restaurant, and noticed a woman standing near our car.  By her side was a young girl, about 8 or 9 years old.

The young woman nodded to the little girl, and she approached us with her hand out.  “We need food.  Can you help us?”  I looked at Lynn and nodded, and then took our boys into the building.  Lynn came in and said, “She needs groceries, not a quick meal.” 

I said to him “We don’t have much money.”  I turned to the boys and said “What do you want to do?” 

They replied “We need to help them, Mom, they’re hungry.”

We counted out our money.  If we shared our taco meals, and went to the movie with no refreshments, we could give them $20.00.  It would feed them until Monday, when the young woman promised she’d go see about emergency food stamps. 

We’d be broke the rest of the week.  The boys still wanted to go to the show and after all we’d been through, we decided to do it.  Our house was filled with food, we’d make it.

The tacos were sweet and we ate them slowly.  Soberly, we drove to the movie, none remembered what we saw.  We were together; we’d given to another, we were content.

Walking back into the house, we gave each other the big “Alsobrook” hug, our traditional group embrace.  We held on for along time.  No real conversation was necessary; our hearts did the talking. 

“You passed the test.”  whispered the Spirit of Goodness.  “You had little and you gave more away.” 

I knew that woman was put there in that moment in time, by no accident.  Would another have helped her?  I don’t know. What did she really do with the money?  I don’t know, the choice was hers. 

 It was our moment, our time.  We gave and the blessing was contentment, not relief from our struggles; they were to go on for another few years. 

We only have moments to make a difference.  She gave us that blessing.

Our society is filled with seduction.  “Buy more, have bigger, this is not enough”  it whispers and yells at every turn. 

Find the contentment in the moments of life.  It is our choice. 

What will we choose? 

I am Marisue and I write.

By Marisue | August 5, 2008

“That’s where most criticism from others goes.  We hear the words, and even if we don’t believe it, the pain of what was said finds it’s way quickly to our heart.”

What can we do?  We can quit taking it personally.  When we get angry, it’s our choice.  I know it doesn’t seem that way.  We’re not robots.  Of course we react to “stimuli” and what people say, STIMULATES us. 

Even so, we can work on the way we react.  Eventually, we can fight off the pain and the responding anger or depression when we are being verbally attacked or criticized.

Most of the time, our pain is caused because we care about that person’s opinion of us.  We should rarely get upset at words of criticism from someone we don’t know.  However, even those words seem to have power. 

The media is full of strangers doing things to hurt and or kill over spoken words.  I always wonder, “Why couldn’t they just walk away?”  Simple solutions forgotten, in the heat of the moment, and then life is forever changed. 

Are we teaching the skill of protecting ourselves from undeserved criticism?  Do we have it ourselves?  Can we give examples of it to our kids?  How else will they be able to survive the hard knocks of life, if every negative word spoken by another hurts them?

We should be able to shield ourselves and our loved ones from what carelessness slips from the mouth of another. 

Would that it were easy.  The political war we see everyday is a “he said -  he said” battle.  But, no one can stop someone else from speaking what they will.  Yet, the way we respond might take away some of their power.

Keep your perspective.  If someone is “barking” in your direction, turn away with a mental smile.  Think of something that builds you up, such as a recent accomplishment.  Take away their power by putting your thoughts on the positive in your life.

If you have relationship with the one who is hurting you, let them know once you both are calm.  Otherwise, write it off. Blow it off.  Step out of it.  Put it behind you. 

Some battles are not worth fighting.  Frustrations are part of the day, and if they are a frequent part of your life, look in a different direction and see if you can walk that path.

for me,  time is too short to put up with frequent pain from someone who is near.  Quietly, firmly, ask them to “stop.” 

If they care, they will.  If they don’t, then you have other decisions to make, yes? 

May peace enter your place, is my wish for you and even myself, as we read and write about life’s journey.

Come back tomorrow, for more thoughts from the Writing Room,

Author’s Note:  If you are in an abused relationship, of course be very careful about using assertiveness, as it could increase your danger; please seek professional help for how to get to safety.

-I am Marisue, and I write.